Lived Experience Forum

[BryanaCamp]

hi @Doglover I think EMDR sounds good for you but perhaps only after your anxiety is at a lower & stable level as it seems very high at the moment. I found that I couldn't do any talking therapies when my anxiety was very high as I couldn't focus & was too reactive to the sessions. I lowered my anxiety with anti-psychotics and am now able to participate in talking therapy with my psychiatrist, who I like, admire & respect.

You mentioned you have strong spiritual beliefs which contradict some of the treatment modalities. Do you have a spiritual adviser who you can discuss your treatment concerns with? It may help to get their perspective on EMDR, acupuncture or whatever treatment. You sound a bit isolated so perhaps talking to your trusted spiritual advisor would make more sense out of possible, new treatment options. From everything you've shared with me I think you need to increase the number of treatment options available to you rather than limit them.

[Hope4me]

Please don't apologise @Doglover. Your responses have been lovely.

I just wanted to touch base with a thought. It struck me while reading your post, that sometimes symptoms can be linked to other issues which is maybe why the med's aren't doing their job. (???)

I really don't want to alarm you ok. Your well-being is my priority atm. I think it's important to share ideas no matter how silly they might seem

During my recovery, I also visited a neurologist after my gp made me go for a brain scan. (Things were really bad then) He told me I had scar tissue on my brain which was interfering with things.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you there, but if your team aren't getting anywhere with psych drugs, maybe a neurologist can help, afterall they're the brain experts.

It's just a thought hun; something to talk about with your gp and psychiatrist.

Sending warm thoughts;

Hope xo 

[Doglover]

Hi again @eth , thinking of u also today.

I am seeing one of the pdocs tmrw, unfortunately the senior consultant who i was supposed to b seeing is off sick which is disappointing bcoz i am in a rly bad way with my symptoms. Unfortunately no amount of med changing or tweaking seems to make a difference. Im rly not sure where to from here. I saw my OT today and she brought up admission again, which i am desperately trying to avoid, or at lease put off until my private health cover kicks in in a few weeks. So im pretty scared about my pdoc apptmt tmrw as im sure he will bring it up also..

I decided against the emdr for now, my day to day anxiety and distress levels r thru the roof and i just didnt think it wld b a good time to be adding more to that. Its still an option for the future if my symptoms ever settle down. My psych was perfectly understanding of that. I do hav a mhcp, hav used 5 sessions alrdy, 3 of them with a psych i decided i wasnt happy with and 2 with the new lady. Im hoping my husband is going to get a job so that when the sessions run out i can still keep going. He seems to b procrastinating which i am finding very challenging. 

Anyway eth, i hope everything is going well for u with all the NDIS stuff. Hopefully u hav bn able to get it all sorted and some of the pressure is off now.

Thinking of u and take care.

💚 Doglover

[Doglover]

Nwwwaawww, thank u @greenpea , the feeling is mutual. U hav bn such a blessing and support to me even in the midst of ur own challenges. U r very much appreciated.

💜 Doglover 💙 xxxx

[DGoldman]

you're very welcome 🙂 i hope it goes well - keep us updated if you feel like it.

[eth]

Hey again @Doglover  I'm glad to hear you've been able to make a clear decision and have been supported by your psychologist with that.  And that you do have a MHCP.  Did you know that when that runs out you can get a chronic disease plan that gives you 5 sessions with an allied health person that can be used for psychology?  (Or podiatry, dietician, physiotherapist etc).

[Doglover]

Hi @BryanaCamp , how r u going? How is everything working out with the job? Good i hope!

Yes i agree with u re emdr mayb not being right for me at the moment due to anxiety levels being too high at the moment. I cant think straight or concentrate on anything, my distress levels r so high. I made the decision not to go ahead with emdr for that very reason. My psychologist was understanding and supportive of my decision so that was good. Im glad ur anxiety levels r better controlled and u r receiving therapy that is working for u. I am on AP's for anxiety but my anxiety levels r thru the roof. I am also on shert term anxiety meds that i need to come off but nothing is helping. It doesnt matter what they try i just keep getting worse. I am in a really bad way - at my OT appointment ystrday she spoke of admission and i have an appt with my psychiatrist today who will also b talking to me about admission. I am petrified.. Especially bcoz i believe the reason why im not getting better is bcoz of being sensitive to excipients in the medications (which i hav a long history of pre MI) and so it doesnt matter what they giv me, its only going to make me worse, which has bn my experience for the last 9 months. So i rly am so scared Bryana, im petrified rly.

Its a very good point u bring up re spiritual advisor. Its a bit challenging. My spiritual advisor is generally my husband as he is actually a pastor. I will generally go to him with any spiritual matters. In this case hoever he is so close to the situation and at times, is stuggling to cope with it himself and not in a place that i can talk to about these things. There is an elderly lady in our church who, while i wldnt call her a spiritual advisor, she is someone that i turn to on a regular basis when i just need to talk or hav a cry. She is a real blessing in that way.

Thank you for ur post Bryana. I am thinking of u and rly hoping things are going well for u.

💜 Doglover

[BryanaCamp]

hi @Doglover try not to be frightened. As I said before, sometimes we have to take a risk when trying a new form of treatment for mental health but the main thing is that you take that risk in a supportive environment. You'll be in a well supported environemnt in private hospital so that's good. You're doing an amazing job.

I was shocked to read your husband is your spiritual advisor. With respect, I dont' think he can be objective & give perspective from the outside looking in so is not an appropriate source of objective analysis of any MI treatments for you. I think it would be healthier if you can speak to someone external to your marriage/objective & make it a priority if your spiritual constraints are holding you back from treatments that may help you.

Work is good thanks. It's a bit stressful starting in 6 different libraries, a different one each day. There is so much to remember as they are all quite different & all have different staff. Work went well yesterday, it was really busy which I like. I have a night shift tonight so I can learn closing, it's good because it gives me the opportunity to exercise & do grocery shpping during the day which I like as I'm trying to improve my fitness. Thanks for asking about work Doglover, I appreciate your interst & support as I've been feeling a bit of compassion fatigue on the forum as my work & socail life get more complicated!

Thinking of you today & sending you calming vibes. Try not to be frightened about admission, you have gone thru so much you don't realise how strong you are. Trust yourself, it may be hard to imagine what it may feel like to get some relief once you start taking action in a new direction. 

[Doglover]

Hi @Hope4me , thanks so much for ur msg, sorry to take so long to get back to u. 

I believe the symptoms im having r linked to the excipients in the medications, which i hav had problems with before, pre MI days, but unfortunately no one will believe me. Even if they did it wldnt matter as as long as one is taking medications they r impossible to avoid bcoz they r in all meds (sorry if iv brought this up with u before - i hav a memory like a sieve at the moment). But also ur not the first person to bring up the neurology side of things, my husband has also mentioned it.

What sort of scan did u have? When they found u had scar tissie on the brain, what sort of things was that scar tissue interfering with? Did they say?

My husband has also suggested that mayb thrs something going on in my brain and i shld see a neurologist (problem is i cant afford to). He knew a lady who they wanted to put in a mental institution many years ago but it turned out she had a brain tumour. She had it operated on, all her symptons went away and she lived to the ripe old age of 80 something. My mum also thinks i shld find out if thrs some way to test for the sensitivities that i believe i have but i dont believe there is any such testing. 

Thank u for ur care and support Hope, i rly appreciate it.

💜 Doglover

[Zoe7]

Hey @Doglover Still sitting with you Hon even when I cannot be here. You did well talking to your psych and putting forward your views. That is never easy to do so you should be very proud of yourself