14-08-2019 06:11 PM
Exhausted today after a busy day (yay), late night (mostly my own fault) and a teary wake up (not yay).
The teary wake up was following a conversation with Younger Daughter last night about school. We knew she was struggling badly with her schoolwork. She had a subject selection meet up with a teacher yesterday, who recommended that she take the TAFE style stream rather than doing VCE.
It's so hard feeling like a choice is being shut down on her because of all the stress she's under. We know she's intelligent enough- we actually got an IQ test for her because she was stuggling, and she should be well and truly capable of doing her schoolwork, but... The whole family gets dragged along with all the pain and irrationality and grief, and no matter how much we want to, we can't do anything to change that.
Teary never leaves me in a good state. My head feels all cotton-wool-full for the rest of the day. So I've taken things a bit easier today. Getting essentials only done, and getting out in the garden; plus Younger had a day off school today, so we went out for icecream together. And after a day of mulling, I'm thinking the TAFE stream might not be a bad thing. If that's the way things go, I'm going to be very insistent that elective subjects and work placements really need to be with the aim of her getting some self care, and not just centred around building "employability". Seriously, what good is she going to be to herself or anyone else if she's emotionally burned out before she's even out of school?
14-08-2019 06:45 PM
Same happened with our youngest @Smc ..... couldn’t fight wildfire on all fronts at the time and she was suffering with psychosomatic illness as a result ..... and my mr. was in a more volatile state at the time ...... then suggesting that she quit school cos not everyone is cut out to be academic ..... 😳🙄😡 ..... she is highly intelligent and academic, was just completely overwhelmed by circumstances. It sucked at the time, but she only needed to get through school, and is in TAFE-through-uni art studies with me now. It’s nurturing and healing her self-esteem.
14-08-2019 09:42 PM
Yep... I really hope though that it might turn into a "consider the lillies" moment of being what she needs. At least we do honestly know that she is smart enough, and can reassure her of that.
My own schooling was somewhat messed around by family issues plus school bullying. I repeated a year level that I should have passed with good marks due to stress/anxiety. I did get into uni, didn't complete the degree because it took me a year or so to realise that, as much as I was enjoying the studies, I didn't want the desk job they'd lead in to. The TAFE ceramics degree I ended up in years later was much more suited to me.
In the end, "highest educational attainment" is pretty dodgy as a measure of someone's actual level of ability. It's a pity it's so often used as a reference point. Hoping that Younger will grow up with the self confidence to know her own worth, regardless of how others measure her.
17-08-2019 03:47 PM
A probably-productive phonecall with one of Younger's Vice Principles yesterday. She's happy to quietly reccommend to her subject choice advisors that she be allowed to choose subjects that "keep her engaged", which is close enough in edu-jargon to choosing self care subjects.
17-08-2019 04:09 PM - edited 17-08-2019 04:10 PM
That is good news @Smc
Always good when school can be understanding of the bigger picture and supportive of processes like that. Trust it works out in Daughters favour.
20-08-2019 05:39 PM
@Smc thinking of you and family. Trust everything is as well as it can be.
20-08-2019 06:06 PM - edited 20-08-2019 08:03 PM
@Determined, middling at the moment.
Older Daughter was in ER last night again, saying she had severe back pain. An x-ray has already been done and shows nothing wrong, but that was an ambulance in, and lots of very strong pain relief. As with many of her "physical" ailments, we suspect the source is in the mind, but doctors do what they've been trained to do and try to deal with the body. Not their fault... psychology is a whole separate degree, and a complex one at that. She's also still not in a good space otherwise.
We had an appointment with a "second opinion" independant psych of Centrelink's choosing yesterday, and had our usual psych appointment today. The feedback we're getting suggests Hubby being granted DSP is more likely than not, but will wait and see. (They're very cagey about feedback. Which is fair enough.)
The "second opinion" appointment was down in the big city, so we deliberately planned on taking a "long way around" going home, to turn the trip back into a relaxing outing. It was very enjoyable. Nice lunch together, pretty scenery and interesting towns with second hand shops to fossick in, both op shops and antiqueries. (And I think we were restrained and sensible enough with our purchases. )
Even the phonecall from Older Daughter re. back pain didn't really overwhelm the sense of enjoyment. Good, and weird at the same time. I know if it had been anyone else in our family reporting the same problems, we'd be seriously concerned instead of "Ah yeah... again.". Keep really really hoping she can recover. She's got everything in place to be able to have a very good life. Friends, family, stable home, skills and interests... all derailed by her MI. I hope "one day" she really surprises us in the right ways.
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