Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

My gf admitted to me today she is not coping either and is thinking of getting drunk and taking drugs again. This worries me because I am a reformed alcoholic and drug taker. Given, she was talking about marijuana and this is not the drug type I used to be involved in. I'm worried about it though because sometimes, just sometimes, this is used as a gateway drug to other things that I used to be involved in.

I told her I would leave her if she became involved in that stuff again, do you think I am being harsh?

[CheerBear]

I think that sounds a lot like knowing that being around something like this may be dangerous for you, and then firmly and clearly stating the line between what's ok and not ok for you @Queenie. That can be a really hard thing to do with someone you love though. How are you feeling about saying that to your girlfriend?

[Queenie]

I told her but she told me I was being too harsh on her @CheerBear. I am standing by what I said though and I mean what I said. I can't even fathom going back down the alcohol and drug road again. I love her to the ends of the Earth, but it's a self preservation thing. I just hope she heeds my words and doesn't do anything behind my back instead.

[CheerBear]

I don't think it's harsh @Queenie. Maybe once the inital reaction from her has subsided a little, she'll be able to see this as you taking care of you and accept it more. I think if I was in that position I could act defensively for a while and then once I'd settled be able to take it a bit better. I hope for you both that she finds a less potentially destructive way to cope with what's happening. (Not that I'm saying drugs and alcohol are always destructive - hope you know what I mean there 🙂 ) Taking a stand can be really hard, and sticking with it even harder, but it's good to see you know what's ok for you and you're able to say it to her.

[Kurra]

@Queenie
What you have said to your gf is not harsh at all. You are looking after yourself. It appears that she isn't prepared to look after herself appropriately nor you.

Do take care @Queenie. I'm worried for you. 💚