✨Sunday Intention Setting✨

[AlwaysMyself]

@AuntGlow and anyone else who may find my perspective useful on this...

I think a reasonable intention for me for now (as an overall) is to use my self-control and self-discipline to "honour my promise" every day, even when I don't want to. As long as I do that, anything else on any singular day that I can't do can be done on a different day. And non-important things can be deprioritised or taken off the agenda (or outsourced) altogether for awhile if needed. Sometimes just staying alive is enough.

[SmilingGecko]

Hello @AuntGlow how are you? Thanks for the tag! What a wonderful suggestion you have for setting intentions to gain traction and navigate forwards. I had combined health challenges over the last year and was not making any headway with doctor. Was going from pillar to post. Now I have seemed to have healed I have found a health routine that was very empowering This month I am re-committing to doing daily wellness routine to support my body so I am prepared for any future problems that may crop up. Thanks for the reminder its good to be able to steer your ship in the right direction. 

[Appleblossom]

@AlwaysMyself i agree. Simply staying alive is enough.

it has been a mantra for me for a long time.

I struggled with interpersonal social stuff, so will make that my focus.  Keeping social without withdrawing.  Trying to deflect negative stuff.  Working on shielding myself, and making more firm boundaries, in my being and for others. Not letting everything get under my skin.  Not sure I can totally change myself from being sensitive, it is such a core part of who I am.  Finding ways of engaging socially, and being real and being me, but not being too open.  I did reasonably well on Sunday in small gathering of 5 musicians, made gentle jokes on par with the mood. 

On Thursday I did call out a church conductor for being "a control freak" in a group of about 15.  In that scenario my energy and jokes had been higher, as the personalities were louder.  I was surprised I said it. It was out of my mouth. Some laughed and agreed. She just replied, that she had to be, in that job, but she had been challenging her partner for "defying her".  Hmmm.   No, she doesnt have to be that controlling.  When she tried it on my son a couple of years ago, my alarm bells screamed.  No wonder my son did not keep at that choir.  With over 50 years of experience in music and ministry, I do know the difference between what is needed for musical guidance and Christian goodwill.  She knows and says she respects my experience, but I do put up with a lot with patience and politeness.  Her rigidity is not good or necessary for the music.

There are others, as I am busy and engaged.  There are a lot of people who do think they can boss and control people.  Maybe just bad habits for a range of reasons, eg., personality or work, eg classroom teachers, psychiatrists.

I need to learn how to call out control freaks in my personal space. How to do so within reasonable time, or in the moment, with deftness, that is fair and effective.  Not always submitting and complying, which was my previous style. 

Back to beginning of post... staying alive....i have been too fearful and conflict avoidant.  This world is full of humans. I have to face it.

[Oaktree]

@Appleblossom 

Good on you for being so assertive and calling out the conductor for being too controlling. The music probably does suffer. Love to you hun xxx

[Dk5]

Pritty helpful that @AuntGlow no right or wrong way. I reflect but i feel like theirs no space in my mind

[Judi9877]

Hi @AuntGlow @tyme @Jynx and others here. What an interesting thread topic- very thought provoking yet interesting and challenging at the same time. Thank you for providing this @AuntGlow !

My intentions for this year are based on self care and reflections in the form of keeping a journal and helping me deal with all challenges- carer, personal, academic, etc- that come my way. I started the year off by purchasing a 365 notebook from Kmart whereby I list 3 types of things on a daily basis which are:

- Song

- Good Thing

- Reflections/Thoughts/Ideas

as well as taking a daily photo on my phone to store in a folder which I will then print out at the end of the year. I do my journal each morning reflecting on the previous day over my morning coffee and find it to be really helpful and a great way of getting things out of my head and onto paper. For the song, it’s usually 1 I’ve played on my phone the previous day - music is very important to me and my mental health - so I’m hoping by the end of the year, I’ll have a decent playlist to look back on and play. For the good thing, this is something that I think has been good about the previous day and a way of being grateful and reflecting on what has made it a good thing such as surviving the previous day if it’s been difficult or doing a new word puzzle out of a magazine. For reflections, ideas, thoughts, etc, it’s a way of getting things down that have caused me issues or positive things or ideas that I may have that I’d like to explore in the future, such as realising that drinking Pepsi max late at night isn’t a great idea or learning that I’m good at word puzzles and it’s a great way of challenging myself yet relaxing at the same time. My daily photo could be of something I’ve taken myself such as the tree at my uni residence, a craft photo or something I’ve seen on Facebook that I’d like to keep as a resource for future reference for example. 

My carer peer worker was and is big on self care as a carer and they have said this is very important when taking on a caring role which I have done as of last year as you need to look after yourself if you are to take care of others. Suffice to say, I’ve taken them up on this advice with my daily journal idea and am really enjoying the experience of it. I find it to be therapeutic and calming yet helpful and insightful as well as inspiring to see what things I can come up with and what has been going on for me over the past 24 hours. I know I’ll be able to reflect on this year at the end and look back to hopefully see some changes in my thinking and ideas and how I handled certain things and what was good about it, even if it didn’t seem like that at the time. Like today for example has been challenging with my housemate being physically ill and self discharging from hospital yet her mental health and intellectual disability firing up and her making comments about doing certain bad things and taking her behaviour out on me via phone calls and text messages. Luckily for me, I was able to call a carer helpline and get help as to how to handle this situation and I’m now in a better head space to deal with it. A cup of tea and some crocheting has also helped me immensely as well - part of my self care routine. I’m feeling happier and more relaxed now so that’s a positive and something I’ll note in my journal entry tomorrow about today.

I look forward to seeing what other forum members post on this thread.

Take care and stay safe!

Judi9877

[Jynx]

This is such a wonderful approach @Judi9877 and I especially love your inclusion of music in your daily reflections!! If you ever feel like sharing some tunes with the community, there's a thread called Everything Music or if you like, there's this one for songs that describe your current mood!!

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that stuff with your roommate is so tense, but it sounds like you are taking some solid steps to supporting yourself, like reaching out and engaging in some creativity (yay crocheting!) and comforts. 

Appreciate you keeping us updated on your world hun, always warms me to read 💜

[Dimity]

Hello @AuntGlow . @Appleblossom remarked on being fearful and conflict avoidant. Me too but there's conflict anyway, especially with someone with a neurological disorder.

My intention is to more than halve my physical footprint (downsize and death clean) and try to expand my social network to compensate for resulting relationship losses and loss of identity. It's very painful.

[Appleblossom]

@Dimity @AuntGlow Yes, it is pretty hard to avoid conflict in this world, and I have tried blooming hard, dodging bull ets this way and that.

Good luck with new relationships and simplifying life. 

I am on similar journey, and I too think about it in a similar way, though not called it death clean.  I am trying to be grateful for the little glimmers in my social world, but there are also now a very large truckload of triggers, whether people intend them or not.  Complex backstories are hard when reintegrating into new social fabric.  

[Dimity]

Hello @AuntGlow if you're on today.

I just wanted to say I've been grateful for this thread, and for your support and suggestions on other threads.  They've helped me quite a lot.