Lived Experience Forum

[utopia]

So I had a week's hospital stay at the public psych ward.  I have no memory of the first 3 days,  so I got a copy of the letter and info that was sent to my GP. 

Apparently in the ED  I was agitated and rude.  Then when I was moved to the psych ward I had an assessment. Here they wrote. Impression on admission : cluster B traits (BPD traits) evident throughout admission.  WTF. 

I have Major Depression and Anxiety and they think I still have PTSD.   But now they want to add Borderline Personality to the list. 

They never mentioned any of this to me. At all. 

So what am i meant to do with this new diagnosis?  And how would I even know if it applies to me? 

[wordman]

Hello Utopia. In my experience the mental health system is somewhat disfunctional and not truly in tune with peoples psyche, as they should be. Your diagnoses appears to be confusing and without explanation. I ask you, what do you want out of life when you become discharged from hospital ? Only you can understand yourself properly and thoroughly. I myself was dignosed with psychosis in 1997. I have not seen a psychiatrist in 15 years and do not let my mental illness get in the way of achieving my goals and ambitions.  Yes, you need to be diagnosed but does it have to be confusing and without explanation ? The mental health system can only do so much. The rest is up to you to try to understand and find a path in life that isn't fraught with obstacles and confusion. 

[TuxedoCat]

Hey @utopia, wow, sounds like a big time! How are you feeling now?

You're certainly not alone in having this kind of experience in hospital. If I understand, it sounds like they made assessments of you but didn't talk to you about it until the end. Is that right?

I know for lots of people, it can really disempowering to have more and more diagnosis added to the list. It's almost like other people are defining our lives for us. I know that's how it's felt for me, not sure if it's similar to you?

I guess you could look up the symptoms of BPD and see how you feel about them or even look at BPD posts on the forums? I also thought I'd tag @tyme to see if they have anything to add

If it feels like a good fit, it could be a gateway to some new therapies and treatment! But if it doesn't, you can choose to let it go. You can choose what you do with it ❤️ 

[utopia]

Thanks @TuxedoCat  for your response. 

No they didn't discuss this suspected new diagnosis with me,  at all.  It was within the notes they sent my GP.  I did look up the symptoms for BPD.   Maybe 2 would apply to me in a mild form.  That's all.  Then my mum spoke to me and said,  they did this assessment when I was in a heightened state of distress.  So of course they may see an odd trait here or there.  Because you were angry and acting out.  But if they assessed you when you weren't distressed,  they would know you had no traits of BPD.  

I think my mum may be right.  Initially when I read their comment,  I was angry and disappointed and scared.  But now I see it as just an inept Doctor assessing me at the wrong time.  

I am many things.  I have Depression,  Anxiety and PTSD.  But I do not have BPD. 

[TuxedoCat]

100%, I didn't even think about the context that they did the assessment in! It makes complete sense that thats how you responded in that situation. It sounds super scary @utopia  

It sounds like you've been able to reflect and decide what's useful for you, and that's so awesome! 

[Shaz51]

@utopia thinking of you lots today,  are you OK xxxx

@Zoe7 , @Faith-and-Hope , @Appleblossom 

[utopia]

@Shaz51 . Just ignore my rantings here.  No new diagnosis.  Same as always. 

Merry Christmas to you and your family. 

[tyme]

Hey @utopia ,

I've just read your posts. 

When you look at the 9 traits of BPD, honestly speaking who doesn't have a measure of each of them? I guess the BPD label sticks when any mix of 5 of these traits affect one's daily functioning. 

It is understandable that one's current state can affect a measure or questionnaire responses.

So whether you have BPD or not, it's about working with what's NOT working so well for you. If it's anxiety - work on it. If it's depression - work on it. This is the work of recovery.

I wish you all the best @utopia .

Thanks for your tag @TuxedoCat .

When you feel up for it, you may want to visit Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script  or Topic Tuesday// Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Week 2022: 'See The Person'// Tues 27th Se... 

[outlander]

just wanted to stop in and say hello @utopia and hoping that your ok

[utopia]

Hi @outlander . Long time I've been away.

Thanks for thinking of me.

Have just sent through a referral to a new Psychiatrist. My current Psych isn't coming up with any suggestions to help with my Depression. Other than to keep increasing the meds. He had me on twice the maximum dosage. So I've since reduced my dosage myself. Psych wasn't impressed. By the end of this month I will reduce again, and then I'll be back at just the normal maximum dosage.

I have to say, my head is a lot clearer after I reduced those meds. Memory and cognition improving a bit.

I'll want to try TMS. But my Psych doesn't like it and says it doesn't work. But research I've looked into, suggest a good chance of improvement. So that's why I sent in a new referral for a new Psychiatrist.

How have you been travelling? Are you studying at the moment? Still spending lots of time with the horses?