Lived Experience Forum

[Finding-balance]

I've never been a forum person, but I feel somewhat isolated and I'm not sure how to remedy that right now.

If I've depression/anxiety for many years and survived through unhelpful coping mechanisms or just being comfortable with not liking myself much (along with medication and psychology here and there). 

I now have post natal depression. To the most extent I'm probably over the worst, but some days are still just hard. I was hospitalised in January while my medication was sorted out, that's pretty under control now, and if I were to talk about all the things I've done or are doing it would sound like I'm getting on great, but I don't feel that way.

I know that a major issue is a lack of self care, but even when I recognise that issue I struggle to get it right. And just when I do have some sort of flexible routine worked out, something goes and changes. I recognise that with a 1 year old things are going to keep changing, but how do I learn to look after myself somewhat consistently? Every time something changes I feel like in back at the start again. 

And then I go and get annoyed at myself because I know that's not true, I know logically that I've made progress, but I just don't feel it. 

How do you balance a child, a household, a job, a relationship and looking after both your physical and mental health? That just seems like so much to manage, and I have a wonderfully supportive husband - I just couldn't begin to think of how he could support me. 

Is this just what life is? And if so, how am I supposed to enjoy it?

I don't know if any of that makes sense or even has a point, but if I re-read it I'll probably convince myself there's no point in payipos anything...

[Former-Member]

Hello @Finding-balance

I get most of the things you have expressed.

I get what you mean about the self care thing. I’ve recognised it too but yeah it is easier and said than done to take care of yourself when balancing every day life as well as other issues & loads. You! have a big load. I forget, then I come back then I forget or can’t be bothered or just don’t feel great so I can’t be bothered but you need to keep doing nice things for yourself even if it is just very slowly when you can. Feel very isolated too. It’s completely overwhelming but you will get their hope we do too. Can you ask family to step in? I’ve often not enjoyed it by doing it on my own but everyday I somewhat get through and you will as well. I’ve thought Is this really it for my life all this, mental problems, bad relationship, paying bills picking up pieces from a previous relationship, parenting etc etc but hey 

you are not alone 

[Lunar]

Hello @Finding-balance

A very warm welcome to the forums, it is really nice to meet you.

It sounds like you are going through an awful lot with your mental health on top of having a 1 year old, it is very understandable you need some extra support as there is only so much one person can handle at once, even when they have a supportive partner.

It's great you have reached on the forums for some extra support, that is so important, if you have any troubles with the forums please let a moderator know and we can help you out.

I will also attach some services that can provide you with some more support, such as PANDA, they have a helpline and some great resources so you don't feel so alone in this:

PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia)
Helpline: 1300 726 306
Helpline Hours: 10am - 5pm (AEST), Monday to Friday
www.panda.org.au
PANDA receives calls from anyone who is concerned about how they or someone else if coping during pregnancy or after having a baby. Many partners ring the helpline as well as extended family members and friends. 

• Helpline - PANDA's telephone information, support and referral service is staffed by trained volunteers, professional counsellors and supervising staff.
• Supports -    Perinatal Depression Support Groups, Supported Postnatal Depression Playgroups, Mother Baby Units, Other support services
• Factsheets, Workshops, Forums linked with SANE Australia for carers and those with a lived experience, complete range of Information Sheets, Volunteering available

I look forward to getting to know you better, you might like to also Introduce Yourself here it can be a nice way of getting to know other forum members.

Lunar

[s-jay]

Hey there @Finding-balance - did you end up contacting PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) at all? Some of their volunteer peer supporters are actually going to our guests tonight on the forums if you wanted to chat with them. It will all be happening tonight here on the forums - talking about about being a new parent and some of the struggles you have described here. We'd love to have you along - just head over to this thread at 7pm AEDT tonight and we'll be chatting with PANDA and other members.. Hope to see you..