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jmo7
New Contributor

First time mum

Not really sure what I’m doing or expecting from this but...

 

I am a first time mum and did some research etc before he was born about mumming etc and thought I’ve got this and I’m going to be great at it 

There are days that I get an overwhelming feeling of anxiety trying to convince myself to get out of the house and go do some socialising but it’s such a consuming feeling and then I think I’m comfortable in my house, he’s happy he’s healthy I’m doing it right and that’s enough. I’m not sure if I’m worried about judgement from others about the way I do things or if I have the feeling I’m going to fail. I was told whilst pregnant that I will be great at mumming but there is that feeling that what if I’m not. I don’t want to let him or my partner down.

2 REPLIES 2

Re: First time mum

Hi and welcome @jmo7

Oh my sweet; your feelings are very normal! Self doubt means you're loving, determined and want to do a great job. There's nothing to be embarrassed or worried about ok.

 

You've just gone through one of the most important experiences of your life. It's your first time, and as we know, the first time for anything can be confusing, frightening and even traumatic for some. The intimate and happy times make up for it though in spades.

 

The fact you're asking for help is a sign of a great new mum. None of us have all the answers; we learn as we go and develop a style of parenting that fits us. Enquiring if we're doing a good job is also normal. That's what mums, aunts, grandmothers and the Nursing Mother's Association are for.

 

I had so much trouble feeding my (1st) baby doing everything the books and women in my family said to do, but he just wouldn't latch on so he was starving and upset a lot of the time. You can imagine how much guilt I carried.

 

I had a home visit from the NMA who praised me for being so patient and doing whatever I could to fix the situation. They made a bottle of formula and the rest is history. He gobbled up the whole lot and slept peacefully for 6 hrs. I woke him because I thought something was wrong. lol There wasn't of course, but that's how it goes hun. Learn as we go.

 

Time for yourself is extremely important. One of the biggest complaints for mums is losing their identity after having kids. For me, it was well into his teens when I suddenly realised I didn't know who I was as a woman anymore. I'd somehow lost 'me'. My world was all for my son. This is very common!

 

Time for relationships is also a major area neglected by us. That's not fair on our partners, family or friends. It takes a village to raise a child remember. 'Use' people who want to help or form a bond with your little one. They're Godsends; really!

 

And finally; make lots of mistakes! Those lessons are our greatest source of learning. You can't be perfect; no-one can. We wing it until we're more experienced, then we teach others; that's the cycle of life. 🙂

 

Babies adapt to new environments quickly; they're amazing survivors you see. My baby fell out of my bed one night because I fell asleep feeding him. Oops! Bugger, I hope he's ok. He was!

 

I'm so sorry no-one has answered your post until now. I really hope you read this and reply as I'd love to know how you and your little one are travelling and maybe get to know each other. (Just hit the 'support' button so I know you're around.)

 

Please take care and we'll talk soon ok...

Hope Heart

Re: First time mum

Hi @jmo7 and welcome to the forums!

 

Being a new parent is a time of huge change and uncertainty. It's something that takes some adjusting to and it sounds like you're trying your best Smiley Happy

 

If you feel like it, you can introduce yourself to other forum members here.

 

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