Lived Experience Forum

[Christheart]

I had my first day back running programs of support today. I am so exhausted. We did pottery in the morning and card making in the afternoon. The people on my group are all levels of abilities. Apparently last week several people were distressed that o wasn't there, and one refused to participate in anything because I wasn't there.

I'm so exhausted. I gave them everything I possibly had. And I still had another staff member interrogate me about 'what was wrong with me' and then give me 10 minutes of unsolicited advice about how maybe o just need to go to a concert or go out and have some fun. 

She meant well... But by the end of it I felt so much worse. This is not some fleeting boredom or sadness... I wish I didn't feel this way. 

I'm so exhausted and the thought of going back tomorrow is agonising. I run a community garden program tomorrow. 

I don't know how much longer I can do this. 

Oh and last night my throat was very sore and this morning I woke up to realise I have caught a cold... I wore a mask all day, social distanced and sanitised, I did a rat test which was negative. 

I am safe tonight but I just feel at my wits end. 

Having a shower now, then dinner then will get into my book. 

Christheart 

[Captain24]

@Christheart 

Sorry that you’re exhausted 

Well done for getting up and going to work! That probably wasn’t easy.

Well done for being a support for your clients!

Well done for making it through the entire day!

It sounds like you’re group appreciate you. 

Just wanted to show you some of the little wins.

Sitting with you

💕

[Christheart]

@Captain24 

Thank you. It was a huge effort getting through the day. My friend just told me it's the shortest day of the year today. Little blessings. 

[1Me]

Sometimes we give from an empty cup. It sounds like you give a lot to others. Perhaps you co-worker was trying to help you fill your cup.

I know when I am unwell my battle is harder. PTSD haunts my waking moments so I avoid sleeping to avoid waking. A recipe for disaster when you need to rest. Be kind to yourself.

[Christheart]

@1Me 

It is exactly like pouring from an empty cup. I wish I had more to offer, like I used to. I used to be so fun and energetic. I don't have much life in me at the moment. 

Thank you for your comment 

[DefGif]

@Christheart, that sounds like a huge day.  Well done for making it through.  

In my experience, sometimes we feel worse when people don't recognise just how hard we're trying, and it feels like they're putting it on us, but it can be that we're pushing ourselves too hard.  I know I've done that at work, and realised how I was expecting too much of myself.

I hope you have a better day.  It sounds like the people you run classes for love having you around, and not because you give everything, but because you're you 🙂

[Rhye]

Such a beautiful response @DefGif, and so true! I've been guilty of the very thing you mentioned, we can sometimes be our own worst critics and taskmasters.

Also, lovely to see you in the Forums 😊 It looks like you might have recently joined us? Sending a big welcome to you from the SANE forums team, and another big welcome to @1Me 👋

I for one get very excited to meet new "faces" in the Forums, getting to know your journey is a real privilege. If you ever feel up for sharing here or here we'd love to get to know you 🤗

Rhye ☘️

[DefGif]

@Rhye thank you!  That's a lovely thing to say 🙂

[Delicatessen]

It sounds like the act of giving comes naturally to you. How beautiful. And you seem to do so much! I wonder whether you know how to feed and nourish yourself (in every way) and, if so, schedule this in so that you get some balance? If nothing else, could you spare some time to meditate or do something that gives you some peace and/or space?

[Eve7]

I hope today is better for you @Christheart  I think you’re amazing doing what you do ❤️

Good morning @Delicatessen @DefGif @1Me @Rhye 

I hope today is kind to you.

💙🌞💙🌞💙