Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

[NatureLover]

Yes, it's very strange, @Dimity. And the weird thing is that it's not entirely comfortable having a perfectly neat house! I feel a bit discombobulated! I think because it's not my norm? But of course I have 35 boxes of mess in the shed. 

I'm sorry your mood has plummeted, my friend 😥 I read your Winter Solstice post 😥

With the mutual help deal with your family member, are you required to go there and help them? 

I am sending wishes for your mood and for things to improve for you 🤞

[Dimity]

Perhaps the bottomless shed is the shadow or Dorian Gray reflection of the perfectly neat house @NatureLover .

Unfortunately I have clutter in every room and more elsewhere. And the back garden I'd been trying to restore is desolate again.

Yes it's supposed to be mutual help with my family member so I help them and they help me turn and turn about.. I should be pleased but at this late stage it feels controlling, a continuation of past patterns rather than a new beginning, and I'll need to process the feelings of anger and resentment that I only identified today. It's not necessarily their fault.

Apparently I should have seen the therapist today but she was ill. I'd lost track and hadn't had a reminder. Maybe I can start that elusive routine before I see her next week.

I hope you had a good day at work. It sounds as things are in a bit of turmoil at present. 

[NatureLover]

Maybe the bottomless shed represents my dark side @Dimity ! 

Why is your back garden desolate? 

I'm sorry the mutual help feels controlling 😥 And maybe not that helpful, by the sound of it? 

Things are definitely in turmoil at work. A lot of people leaving. I'm trying to stick up for myself and get off the phones, which are stressful and cause me to not complete my work. 

Got my psychologist appt today, plus errands. Bit worried about no sun today then 4 days of rain. Am starting up my therapy lamp again this morning.

Stopping the therapy lamp over summer definitely made my itchy skin go away. I was even not using the special extra-sensitive soap. I will have to start that again too. 

Good luck trialling the new routine, and for your tasks today. 

[Dimity]

I hope the therapy lamp works for your SAD without exacerbating your skin condition @NatureLover .

The backyard looks awful. The nandina is cut down to knee height so looks like an array of sticks and I got someone to dig up most of my plants to clear the way for the mechanical digger that never came. I still need to get rid of the nandina and plum then replant. But I'm waiting on help.

I seem to have shut down, I'm barely getting anything done.

I'm going out tomorrow. I hope it works out.

[NatureLover]

Thanks, @Dimity . It's been so nice not to have itchy skin or S.A.D. during the warmer, sunnier months. 

I had to google "nandina plant". It sounds like heavy work, getting rid of that plus a plum tree! 

Is it the family brunch you've got on today? Good luck with it 🤞

• I'm going in to work today just for a few hours to try to catch up, as I missed a week due to the inspection. My psychologist yesterday set me a goal of keeping the house tidy for 4 weeks, till I see her again. Previously I've only been able to keep it neat for about a week after an inspection. 

(I can't seem to remove the indented dot point above!)

Hope your shut down feeling lifts soon...

[Dimity]

Work might have been warmer than home for you today @NatureLover .

The brunch was good thanks. Trying to be positive. 

That's a big challenge  - what will be hardest? The kitchen and resisting overbuying?? I'll be cheering you on.

I feel very sluggish. I found today my weight has significantly rebounded since my loss in hospital and is now a concern. I'll have to work out what's happening. 

I hope you can stay warm tomorrow.  

[NatureLover]

I'm glad your family brunch went well, @Dimity .

No wonder you feel sluggish if you're overwhelmed. 

Thanks...yes, the kitchen will be the hardest. 

I'm still in bed at 8.40am. Been awake worrying about work since 1.30am. They want to abolish all paperwork and go paper-free! Which puts my job in jeopardy. It's the paperwork I enjoy and that I signed up for, not the stressful phone calls. 

I don't know what to do, but I'll wait and see how bad it gets and what they offer me to do (if anything). 

Miserable rain for days...concerned about my S.A.D. I hope the rain's getting to where it's needed. 

Hope you're OK.

[Dimity]

I'm sorry you're facing that at work @NatureLover 

I may be misremembering, but I think you said a couple of months ago that you were considering an opportunity at another workplace but decided to stay on and see how things worked out. Maybe that's still an option? It seems so important for you to be doing something you enjoy and where you feel you're contributing. 

I hope your SAD isn't kicking in with the gloomy weather. I agree we need the rain. 

I'm not sure if I'm overwhelmed. It's as though I've switched off and am doing the bare minimum. I'm tired but haven't done much for days. I'll go to bed early. And it might be warmer. 

Best wishes for work tomorrow. I hope you can sleep better tonight. 

[NatureLover]

Thanks for your kind words, @Dimity . Yes, I did catch up on sleep last night. 

That other workplace volunteer role is still available I think, but no paperwork, just answering phones which hardly ring much, apparently. I think it would be too boring for me. You're right, I want to feel useful and needed at work. 

Yes, I had my first day of S.A.D. for the year yesterday and let the kitchen slide...need to fix that tomorrow. 

It sounds like you need to switch off for a while at the moment? No-one can sustain effort all the time...

[Dimity]

Thanks @NatureLover . Allowing myself to switch off would help. I feel such a failure. 

You've done well to get this far into the year before experiencing SAD. Hopefully the light therapy will help.

It sounds as though your workplace is going through a lot of changes in management and record keeping. Others may be concerned at the changes too, and needing a participative process and mentoring to navigate through it. 

My kitchen is a constant work in progress too. If I backslide for a day or two I start again... it seems to be harder to sustain my decluttering efforts in other rooms. My "new routine" hasn't happened yet but I'll try harder.