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Denv12
Senior Contributor

Anxiety and living alone.

Considering what I've been through and how I'm coping now its been a long road.What gets me down in my moments of weakness is the fact that I live on my own with anxiety.I had a carer but they themselves became ill.I get by with a little help once a week and the local supermarket delivers.Means I just order and they deliver the groceries.I have to get people to do my other outside chores for me like checking my postbox,etc.

 

As I budget carefully I can afford some things.I have the internet here at home.I can acess these forums so at least I have some contact during the day.I can be of help to others at least which stops me focusing on my own problems.

 

When I switch off the computer at times I realise I'm on my own again.That need for companionship arises.The need for people and communication and a chat over a cuppa.Just someone who isnt the other side of a computer.A person,a friend to spend time with.I can get through most days at the best of times but its the isolation that makes me realise how fragile our lives can be.

 

Chris.

15 REPLIES 15

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

Hi Chris,

Being alone can be a terribly confronting thing. To be honest we all are alone, it's just that most of the world seems to fill their lives with so much busyness that they never need notice or experience what that really feels like. It takes courage to live with yourself.

I'm really sorry to hear about your carer. It's good that you have things organised so that you can continue to function. Agoraphobia is so terribly isoating that it's great you have found other ways to connect with others, like here Smiley Happy.

Most of us long for companionship, it can be very painful to do without, even though dealing with our foibles and "stuff" bumping uncomfortably against said foibles and stuff of others can be very challenging and painful too. You might be interested in doing a search on this forum for "loneliness" because you may find that conversation helpful to read/join in on. Take care.

Kind regards,

Kristin

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

Hi Kristin.

 

Thank you.

 

Despite the benfits of social media and my efforts to find old friends I'm no better off.Even trying to make new friends online through various forums,groups,etc has been a time consuming effort with no results.

I'll continue looking.

 

As I look after myself I have found that to be of comfort.

 

Chris.

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

 

Hi Chris,

We connect with people in a range of ways, and it all seems to take so much time.  What are your interests? Is there something you would like to talk about?  I have just taken up photography again after 20 years I am using it as a way to help me "see" the word differently - looking for patterns and colours.  Without this promp I tend to see lots of grey.  What is your favorite flower? mine is camelias - I never have much luck growing them but I planted 3 last weekend and am keeping my figers cross that they will flower and I can take some photos of them.

take care

Crystal

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

Hi Crystal.

 

Thank you for replying.

 

I like your idea of trying to connect with others.We all need some connection so we can take our minds off our health issues.

I can relate to photography.I took up photography at school in the 1977-78.Love it.

My interests are reading,usually things I want to learn about as well as the car stuff,hobbies of collecting old toys like I had as a child.My big passion is music.I play piano,write music and I love it.Keeps me going at times.Nothing more satifying than sitting at the piano playing your own music.I just bought a new book on writing music.The book is huge.

 

I started collecting 1970s vinyl records.Love the old 70s music.Spent a lot of money over the years.Got something to show for it.I've got a record player that needs repairs but I've got all my favourite songs on my mobile phone.

 

I learnt a lot about colour by reading books on how to spray paint cars.The topic of colours and where to find them keeps my mind active.Also books on colour therapy make for good reading.

 

I love cats.I dont have one but I keep adding the odd book to my collection.Cant hurt to learn more.

 

As for flowers I guess colour springs to mind.Flowers in a variety of colours and of course the scent of flowers too are what I like to see.

 

Chris.

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

Hi Chris,

Thanks for sharing.

I wish I had some musical talent - music is also very important to me - I have particular favourites depending on my mood and how loud the negative monkey chatter is in my head.  writting your own music and playing it sounds like a great way to use acknowledge & celebrate  different aspects of who you are and stinulate different senses (audio & tactile)

I have started listening to audio books.  These are particularly good if I am driving long distances (I live in a rural area) or at night when my eyes are too tied to read but I still want to be engaged in something on some level.  The main problem is falling asleep - it is not like reading a book when it is easy to find where you nodded off and the book fell over as the audio just keep going.

Our garden has spashes of colours at the moment.  We planted a whole pile of bulbs a month ago and they are just starting to burst open.  Dafidills might be very common but the bright yellow is a great "happy" spring colour.  I use colour to help describe where my depression is at - it created an easy way of being able to tell people where I am at & my family & friends understand the "code"

Like you I 1st learnt photography a while back and I am now doing the conversation to digital - there was something about a fully manual SLR that I liked and understood - the digital seems to add an extra layer of complexity that I am still struggling with (but enjoying the challenge) - I am still trying to get my head around hystograms.  I think I got too used to using a "point & shoot" fully automatic over the inbetween years.

Some people say that when they play music they can imagine/see colours interacting.  Does this happen for you?

If you are into JJ Cale - Eric Clapton has just release a great cover CD as a tribute to him.

 

cheers Crystal

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

Hi Chris, I understand you I think. I live alone but do have a much loved cat. I find the internet a wonderful benefit. I zone out and play games too much I guess, but yes I think it would be wonderful to have a human companion. But how, I have no idea how to go about it, moved a lot as kids so I never really got good at relationships. Then, when the madness descended it is like yes please, then get away, get away.

I am fortunate in that I have a much wider circle of friends now. They are women friends and busy mums with very large families. So I do not dump my troubles on them, but just being with them for a coffee and talk is good. In town there is a very good peer support group I hang out with at times, and I can talk when I am having problems. One of my difficulties is I under state problems and so the phone psych. People just fob me off.

I am a most fortunate person really, so what is a little loneliness ....I think it is the human condition.

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

Hi, Chris!  How wonderful that you're musical!  I find that writing helps me; I can disappear into another world for a while, where I'm concentrating so intently on the task at hand, that everything else moves away.  It's interesting that photography works for you; while I don't have an artistic bone in my body, I know that if I'm having a better day, I notice colours and sounds, especially birdsong.  On bad days, there are no birds - I suspect they all migrate once I begin my journey to the black hole!  You've inspired me to listen to more music - that does help - so I'll pop some Kate Bush on tomorrow!

 

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

Hi bravebrownbird
I recently read that Kate bush has just done a live concert after 35years ( I think it was 35 but maybe it was 25?????) whatever what great inspiration - I hope listening to her music not only gives you a bit of inspiration but also encourages the birds to sing loudly & be less inclined to migrate
Cheers Crystal

Re: Anxiety and living alone.

Hi.

 

I hate loneliness.It robs us of so much.

I'm adding the following for anyone interested in reading:

You might be interested in reading books on learning how to make friends.I found that shopping online there are books on so many subjects.There are books for membooks for women so they cater for everyone.

I would suggest for a start book written by author Leil Lowndes.She writes some great books.Nothing like learning some social skills so you can meet and make new friends.Som,ething as simple as saying "Hi" can lead to better things.

Try books by these authors:

Leil Lowndes

Chris Colin

Don Gabor

Try these books:

How to talk to anyone by Leil Lowndes.

Goodbye to shy.By Leil Lowndes.

What to talk about.By Chis Colin.

How to start a conversation.By Don Gabor.

 

There are books for men how to meet women.(I bought several).There are similar books for women to meet men.There are books for women to tell which guys to avoid.There's a similar book for guys on which women to avoid.Books on the warning signs for women.There's so many books out there for everyone.

 

You're lucky having people you can spend time with you.

 

Chris.

 

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