Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

Get some rest then tonight @Angels333 

[Doglover]

Thanks @Zoe7 , I really appreciate it. xxx

[Doglover]

Hi @Angels333 ,

i'm really sorry to hear about your aunty passing away, and the difficult last few years of her life. I hope you are doing ok and that the funeral brings the family together united in their love and memories of your aunty in better times.

Take care hon.

Doglover xxx

[greenpea]

@Zoe7 @Mazarita @Doglover @Faith-and-Hope @Angels333 @Former-Member @Adge @eth  and all the Long Ravers wishing everyone who passes by on this beautiful Sunday a fabulous day. Lots of love gpxxxx

[Zoe7]

Goodmorning little pea. Up early myself today but hoping to go back to sleep soon. Hope you have an awesome day @greenpea Love and hugs 

[eth]

Good morning to all here and a big thankyou for all the support and tags over the last 2 days.  You know who you are.

Sending warm wishes to all and I'll be back tomorrow.  Just not able to tag everyone right now.  @cutiepiekitty @Doglover @Maggie @Shaz51 @Angels333 @Flying_Hams @greenpea @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope  and anyone else passing through here and seeing this - support to everyone.  Life is challenging for lots of us at the moment.

Take care all.

[Zoe7]

Sending warm wishes to you too @eth and hoping everything is okay with your adult child after the surgery 

[Angels333]

Hey @eth thinking about you and all you're going through xx

[cutiepiekitty]

Feeling a bit mixed today. Got a counselling session tomorrow. The one I saw last time has put me on to a local person rather than having to go to the city, which made it a 13-14 hour away day. Kind of looking forward to it in a strange waay, but dreading it too. Hate having to meet someone for the first time in case they judge or don't understand. The logical part of me says that counsellors will not judge. But the programmed part of me has trouble accepting that. Do others have the same inner conflicts? How do/did you deal with them. I know that MY 'reality' is not the same reality as many other people, but still sometimes have trouble separating the two. Things that have one meaning to others have totally different meanings to me. When people talk about the "love" of parents or "brotherly love", I go cold. I do not know what they mean in their life, but to me they are just fear. 

So I am worried about what I may say if she mentions family, because to me that is all hate and fear. Anyone have any mechanisms to cope with such things, or how I might be able to cope?  Any suggestions welcome.  Just feeling really confused and addled atm

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @cutiepiekitty 

Meeting the counsellor for the first time, remind yourself that if you don’t like that person for some reason, you don’t have to go back ..... so it’s sort of like popping your bead around the corner for a look-see first before actually signing up with them.

If you’re not comfortable with a question, you can say “I’m not comfortable with talking about that yet.  I need some time to find my courage / comfort level / ability to trust someone I have just met ..... (whatever you are comfortable using).

I have a mother in law who used to blindside me with controlling behaviours and judgemental comments.  I started to practice what I would say or do “next time”, in my mind, rehearsing a response, and then it started to work when I found myself

in that position for real.  I became prepared.

You could prepare a few answers that you might like to use if one of those sorts of questions comes up, and even write them down in case you get a bit of a mind blank.   Feeling prepared can help settle that fear 

of being taken by surprise and not knowing what to do in the moment.