I recently made a post about feeling okay, and managing well. I'm not okay now. I feel extremely depressed and alone. My mood swings are getting more and more intense, but the highs aren't intense. Just the lows. (I'm not manic/bipolar. Purely depressed.) I woke up fine this morning, but now I feel awful.
It would just be nice to feel cared for, even a bit.
Does anyone have advice about handling mood swings which can turn within hours? It wouldn't surprise me if I'm fine again tomorrow morning. Or I'll be in this severe depression for weeks. I don't know anymore. It's harder to predict. I was genuinely doing well yesterday. I actually felt good. But now I'm so far from that. It's getting scarier.
I'm going to keep forcing myself to go through the motions. Even when I barely have any energy, I'll just try to keep functioning. And hopefully another day like yesterday will come along. But in the meantime, does anyone have any advice about depression mood swings, and how to deal with them? Or just some kind words.
If context is needed for advice/solidarity, I have bulimia nervosa, depression, anxiety, alcohol use disorder (sober 2+ years), and chronic pain. Other stuff too.
I am having suicidal thoughts. I can't go to the ED or call 000 though, because the past 2 times were horrific and left me with even more trauma... so please don't suggest that. I think I'm safe right now. I just want to let someone know how bad I'm feeling, and get some emotional support, so that's why I'm making this post. My family can't handle hearing I'm suicidal. I don't think I can tell them.
Hey @rav3n, thanks for your comment on my other post. I made this new post in the more serious forum section because it seems more appropriate here. To answer your questions, it's really hard for me to tell what's affecting my mood. It's a bit like the chicken and the egg. I don't know what causes what. I'm in pain every day, I often sleep poorly, I rarely have any emotional support from friends/family, and I'm always working hard to eat properly. It's so hard for me to figure it all out. When I have a pain flare and am severely depressed, are both of those things caused by poor sleep? Or did pain cause the poor sleep? Is my depression causing the poor sleep and the pain? Did I eat too much or too little, and is the pain worse as a result? It's difficult to tease out. Nothing really went wrong today. I wasn't very productive work-wise, but that's common. Often I can bounce back and try again later. Today's events were all pretty normal, but everything felt twice as hard.
Sorry for so much text. It's hard for me to explain. I feel like I'm juggling too much and it's all too hard. Thank you for reading this.
I have taken my nighttime meds, so I will hopefully fall asleep soonish. I'm scared of how I'll feel tomorrow. A supportive thread here would help me feel less alone, whatever comes.
i hear you @D1ng0, i can see how scary this must be for you, sending you lots of love 🤗
there's some tips and strategies in this link. i reckon starting with some breathing exercises (linked here) would help first, and then trying out other strategies, just so you're mind and body has a chance to rest for a bit. is there a creative activity that might interest you?
today's low mood doesn't take away your small victories from yesterday. and reaching out here is a victory in itself. i'm here with you if you want to talk more 💗
if you're feeling unsafe and want additional support at any time, please reach out to any of these places:
@D1ng0 just saw your other response from my earlier message - i see what you mean, it is tricky to pinpoint when they're all tied to each other. perhaps managing one of them will help the others, hoping those sleep meds help reduce the pain and depression too.
feeling like you're juggling so much at once is definitely an intense and overwhelming feeling, just know that it's ok to take even smaller steps and address things one at a time.
Just a note to express solidarity @D1ng0 . I know you have a lot going on.
Personally I find the free Daylio mood and activity tracker very helpful. It's a visual record of ups and downs that's good to see what's happening and if there are patterns in the day or over days and weeks. And the activity lists help motivate me, and give me a sense of achievement.
I hear you re pain and sleep and life's complications. I've been struggling more than usual and face difficult decisions re treatment options. In the meantime I'm muddling on. It sounds as though your work is one constant in your life, and it's good you have it.
You've probably tried things like heatpacks and changing sleeping positions. I'm lucky that otc pain meds help me get back to sleep.
Hey @rav3n and @Dimity, thanks for supporting me. It means a lot at the moment. I hope you're both doing okay.
I'm not exactly great right now, but less depressed than last night, although I'm in more physical pain. Today was more "meh" than outright dire. I've got no idea what will happen with my mood tomorrow, which is scary. I'm definitely interested in people's advice re: handling that uncertainty.
I have tracked my health, symptoms, and mood in the past, but I became obsessive about it... It's good advice, but I'm trying to be a bit less rigid. I'm already tracking my food intake to manage my ED recovery, I think more tracking would be harmful. We're all different so it makes sense that we'd approach things differently. I'm just grateful anyone's taking the time to give me advice at all 🙂
Thank you for the reassurance that this mood swing doesn't negate the victories. It's nice to be told that. And I'm going to try some breathing exercises. I can't seem to enjoy creative activities right now, but maybe that'll change naturally with my mood.
@D1ng0 totally understand why you'd be scared, not having control and predictability over it can be overwhelming - i think the first thing in gaining some control and 'handling the uncertainty' would be acceptance. accepting that you're mood may be up and down at any given time and that its okay. you will bounce back, even if it takes time, your low moods aren't permanent. reminds me of clip i watched, i'll link it here if you'd like to check it out - maybe it'll resonate with you?
also coming up with a plan to manage those low feelings might make you feel more prepared? you mentioned you're not in the mood for creative activities - which is very valid! is there anything you do find calming?
Hey @rav3n, thanks again for the support, and for linking that video. It's definitely a good mindset. I've spoken with my therapist about acceptance, but it's like that objectivity goes away when I'm low, if that makes sense? Our next appointment isn't for a few weeks unfortunately, but I'm going to bring it up again when I can.
My plan at the moment is to just keep my head above water and stick to the routines my practitioners recommended. When I'm low it just becomes about managing the bare minimum. I've got alarms set up so that I eat every 2-3 hours and don't fall into my bulimic patterns, for example. It takes so much energy to juggle my conditions that I'm a bit worried about adding anything else on top.
I'm watching TV while I work today, it's calming enough 🙂 Passive hobbies seem more accessible. I can't seem to make anything myself, like art or stories.
@D1ng0 i get what you mean about the "objectivity goes away when I'm low" - it can be harder to remind ourselves and get into that 'positive' mindset when it hard to feel anything remotely positive in general. i think that's why i like to talk to my supports during that low period so they do the positive thinking for me 😁
sticking to your routines sounds like a great way to gain some control even if your moods aren't controllable. passive hobbies are great too, watching anything interesting?
also wanted to say that i'm really proud of you for trying, even if you're only able to the bare minimum, it takes a lot of strength to do that too 💗
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