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Looking after ourselves

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Welcome to do so @Determined. None of us want to be having our rough times alone. Smiley Sad

 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hey @Determined, is your area getting any of the wild weather and high water?

 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined  think you were spotted out this week....

images - 2020-02-15T091405.130.jpeg

 

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Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

No wild weather local to us @Smc 

There is a minor flood alert for the river running through town but that will not impact us. 

I have been procrastinating putting the boat away in the hopes I may get out at least 1 more time before uni ramps up again but that is now unlikely. Was down at the coast today for a family outing and it is looking most uncomfortable with the wind and swell. (Usually calm bar crossing is looking a bit like @Darcy s pic lol) not quite my cup.of tea

 So job for tomorrow or Monday is to put the boat away. It is a bit of a task as it is a tight squeeze. 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well flood alert has been and gone with river level well below predicted. Yea... maonnroad across town cuts and it adds hours each day to the school run. 

 

Have my first full day of work tomorrow in 2 months. Told darling today it would be a super busy day (it will) and my phone will be off all day. Anxiety overload. Not sure how she is going to manage 😬  may see if my mum can drop around for a visit. 

 

 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well we survived today with only one phone call. Got the water bill in the mail 🤯

Need to check the dates but suspect that may take in the period when we had a significant leak (now fixed). I remember being supprised by the low reading on the last bill.  Meter read to bill is about 3 month lag. Don't know if that is normal practice everywhere as have never had water bills before. 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I had planned on going to a funeral tomorrow but have decided that the 8 hour round trip (that's juat travel) is a bit too much atm. First full day of work in a while and feeling a bit sapped. Only happens 2x each year then back to 1/2 days which is manageable. 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, water bills here are about four minths apart, so yep, this one probably includes the leak. If it's big enough to cause financial hardship, there may be a grant that's available in difficult circumstances. I'm not sure what it's called in Queensland; in Victoria it's a Utility Relief Grant.

Sorry to hear about the funeral. Eight hours is a huge amount of travel, but it feels odd having to miss that "last farewell".

 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Funeral is kind of another link to my Dad also @Smc . Has triggered memories of my Dad. And emotions that I have avoided and burried. 

Going ride share would be 10 or 11 round trip and I don't have the patience for that. And I'm not sure I would make it home in time for a family commitment. 

Times like this I find a long drive alone therapeutic. I was contemplating taking the bike but people were getting all anxious about that (particually given how emotional the day will be).  People don't understand that a ride or drive for me, by my self is a stress relief. Same benefits as some get from mindfulness activities. But I do appreciate that people are concerned for me.   May just do a 2 or 3 hour local ride and stop for a coffee somewhere with a view to sit and reflect. 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I get it about the ride/drive being therapeutic @Determined. Hope the shorter solo ride can go ahead, some private reflection time is a pretty good "second best".

I was reading an article about trauma recently- apparently most of us have a bad habit of suppressing or somewhat controlling our reactions immediately after a traumatic event, and in particular we tend to suppress the "re-living' of the event... because, quite frankly, it hurts. But it seems that's part of the brain processing the trauma, and without it, the event registers as "incomplete" in our minds, and being triggered is, in part, our minds trying to complete the processing of the event. My ponderings from that are whether a trigger event is actually a chance to deal with the original pain behind it. And maybe that's also why mourning is so important to us.

So get your time to mourn one way or another, and maybe it will help with the other emotions that have been lurking underneath as well.

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