Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Scoo]

Hi everyone reading. 

@Jay-e @CLA@MrsjonesFeeling for you and your current struggles. Caring for someone who is dual diagnosis is a really bad situation to be in especially when they are abusive. I am fortunate hubby doesn't use alcohol or drugs. In the past there have been some instances when I feared him but then he started working for a domestic violence service and it really shined the light on his behaviour and he has never punched a wall since, and the gaslighting completely stopped. 
On a positive note he has started counselling, really likes the psychologist, and his GP is supportive and is seeing him weekly until he sees a significant improvement. He is even open minded about medication if his mental health doesn't significantly improve. I'm feeling more hopeful now. 
Take care everyone ❤️

[Grevillea]

Hi everyone, I realize I haven't been on site since 2016. So have been either busy, or coping somehow. I am surrounded buy other people's issues. Which now it seems is taking it's toll on me. Yesterday couldn't even get through to a phone counselling service. Shows the state of things with Covid 19! Broke up a DV on a bush track near me with a neighbour assisting. A young couple. Tensions and raging testosterone were evident, we stayed to guard her from further abuse and defused the situation. Meanwhile. my husband has had his second hospitalisation for alcoholism. Still waiting to get the specialists appointment and further testing to check the organ damage. I have tippy-toed around his mood swings for 2 months post-hospital, plus the bad experience of his behaviour in hospital. He has gone back to drinking. I feel quite isolated, Covid-19 doesn't help. Meanwhile, my son is sharing a lecture online with me of an expert's presentation on having a child with ADHD. It makes me very sad. He is trying to be independent. He slipped through the cracks, as I took him to every type of medical provider, only recently got his accurate diagnosis. He is 29.   

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs @Grevillea 

@Former-Member, @Scoo , @Jay-e , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Faith-and-Hope]

👋💕 @Shaz51 ....

[Scoo]

Back at ya @Shaz51  ❤️

[Grevillea]

Thanks guys

[Former-Member]

@Winter2 

There are a few of us here who care for our partners, feel free to ask any questions / join in 😁.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member 

Think of you often. You may not have caught up.on my news that Mr Darcy has pancreatic cancer so the emotional roller coaster well and truly operational.  

[Former-Member]

Oh @Former-Member  😔 no, I did not know.  I'm so sorry to hear that.  I was aware Mr Darcy had a recent hospital stay, but I did not know for what reason.  I have had several breaks from the forum, over the past couple of months so probably missed out on hearing that news.

That is awful news @Former-Member . How are you both coping with the implications of all that?  I know the prognosis is very poor with pancreatic cancer, even with treatment.  Usually only a matter of months.  Have you both accepted this news?  I know there are many support services to help people through all of this, but I dont know how the COVID restrictions are impacting any of that.  Are there things which you both want to do together in the short time left ... a bucket list?

I am so so sorry to hear your devastating news @Former-Member .  Please tag me to your usual thread next time you provide an update.  I would really like to keep up with any news.  And please do not neglect your own health needs in the process of doing what you need to do for Mr Darcy.

Sherry 🌺 

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member 

As diagnosis was early Mr Darcy was offered and has had a Whipple procedure, the treating team are hopeful of a better than average outcome (which we were told pre-op is 18 months,  65% of patients not lasting a year). He had a post op infection and this has delayed chemo/radiotherapy. There was a suggestion of tumour recurrence which would significantly shorten the time left, having compared scans they now feel appearance is more likely due to remnant infection. Time will tell. 

Finding things that Mr Darcy finds meaningful has been somewhat difficult since his attempt 4 1/2 years ago.  The surgery he had is major and we were told would take a good 3 months minimum to get over it; at present Mr D is struggling esp at night. Having trouble sleeping, likely not helped by a reduction in one of his psych meds.

While he is well enough I will look for ways as to how we can live well in spite of his diagnosis. Not sure what this will look like but we need to get the radiotherapy out the way first.