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Looking after ourselves

Ferylgirl
Contributor

Managing meetings, interviews, reviews, etc

I struggled for many years when dealing with service providers for my daughter who has a severe brain injury. Having BPD, c-PTSD, and a long history of trauma made these meetings increasingly difficult. My husband and I sat down and worked out a list of questions and statements to slow the meetings down so I could keep up and keep my emotions in check. Please feel free to use our list if it helps you personally in similar situations.

Questions to help.

 

1) Can that be changed?

2) By whose authority?

3) Where is that written?

4) Can you explain that in plain language please? (9/10 times they do not properly understand stuff and are just parroting what others have said. This gives you and them time to pause for thought.)

5) I disagree!

6) Compared to what? (use this when they say this or that is the 'best' plan of action/idea etc. ) ie so I am to accept this shitty service because it is marginally better in some aspect than what you offered before? vs The best possible..

7) Have you considered.... the social aspects of this?.. the emotional aspects of this?.... the family aspects of this?.. the physical aspects of this?... you might be wrong?

8 ) Can you repeat that for clarity?

9) I and my family member are not the same as anyone else. We need individualised support!

10) We need a minute to think about this before you go on!

11) I don't understand. 

12) I need a five minute break to let my brain catch up.

13) Who decided that?

If the meeting is in your house ensure you sit in the place of 'authority' during the meeting. ie head of the table if your table is rectanglular. if in a lounge room then sit on a single seater let them sit on the double or triple seater lounge.

Prepare a list of questions and concerns before the meeting.

Remember you do not owe them anything.

Do not let them set the agenda.

Do not let them push through their prepared speech without giving you time to fully understand.

Challenge! Challenge! Challenge!

And make some positive suggestions.

ie. it is your meeting. you run it. 

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Managing meetings, interviews, reviews, etc

Hi @Ferylgirl 

 

Thanks for posting these. They could definitely be of help to some of our members!

 

Hanami

Re: Managing meetings, interviews, reviews, etc

Great List @Ferylgirl 

Wish I could think that way.  Slowly getting more assertive, but a list like that will help. Thanks

Re: Managing meetings, interviews, reviews, etc

Hi @Appleblossom thanks. I am glad this can be of use to you. Please feel free to print it out and keep where you will find it when needed. And feel free to add your own items to the list. 

It took a lot of trauma for us during meetings before we just sat down and decided to make a list, it was much easier to compose the list when we didn't have a meeting pending. 

 

Ferylgirl

xx

Re: Managing meetings, interviews, reviews, etc

Well formulated, @Ferylgirl. Just sending validation of your insight, and best wishes.

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