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11 Jun 2025 09:40 PM - edited 11 Jun 2025 09:40 PM
11 Jun 2025 09:40 PM - edited 11 Jun 2025 09:40 PM
Hi, I am 49f and have been with my husband 53m since I was 16. Recently we were told he needs to be tested incase he has prostate cancer. The wait has sent me into a major depressive episode, add menopause and I'm stuffed. Being rural is 12 hr trip to City or plane, I get severe anxiety flying.
I'm currently on sick leave, not sleeping. Only thing keeping me sane is counsellor talks. How do I cope?
11 Jun 2025 09:46 PM
11 Jun 2025 09:46 PM
Hey @Srobe1976 ,
Sorry to hear about what's happening for you. It sounds incredibly difficult to have so many unknowns all at once.
Have you spoken to the doctors about ways you can best manage as a family? Sometimes, they may get you to stay there for a block of time. Are there other options such as a bus/train route you can opt in for?
I hear this is hard. I hope you find a way to take some deep breaths as you work through this.
You are not alone. We are here to sit with you.
I'm glad to hear that your counsellor is helpful. How is your husband feeling about everything?
12 Jun 2025 05:51 PM
12 Jun 2025 05:51 PM
Hi @Srobe1976, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're both going through. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer almost 3 years ago at the age of 51, and have gotten heavily involved in supporting people going through it, focusing on men under 60. There is a newish support group specifically for men and their partners under 60.
My first bit of advice is to just focus on the test result. I assume it's a PSA blood test. If the result is high, then there will be scans and if it's found to be cancer then a biopsy will be done. The biopsy will give you what's called a Gleason score. This will be 6-10. This indicates how aggressive the cancer is. Different types of prostate cancer are very different. A Gleason score of 6 is the least aggressive and often treatment is what is called 'active surveillance'. This means they will just monitor it but it may not require any treatment for a long time. If the cancer has not left the prostate, then it's generally very curable, especially with a low Gleason score.
So i know it's not easy, but just try to focus on the next result and take things from there. Worrying about the "what-if's" can quickly get overwhelming.
If you haven't already, I'd suggest of few resources:
The PCFA prostate telenurse line. A free service where you can talk to a specialist prostate nurse and there's not much they dont know. Call 1800 22 00 99
Secondly, both the Cancer Council and the PCFA offer free specialist cancer counseling for the people with cancer and their partners/carers. Call one of the Cancer Council nurses on 13 11 20 for more info, or visit www.pcfa.org.au/support/prostate-cancer-counselling-service. The Cancer Council also has a 'Cancer Connect' service where they will match your husband to a trained volunteer who's been through it, to talk to over the phone for some info and support.
I can't really share anything else at them moment, the under 60's group is tonight and i'm about to leave. But i'm only too happy to answer any questions that I can. Like I said, i know it's hard, but it's far too early to tell what the situation is. Like I said, there's so many factors with prostate cancer that determine what kind it is. A lot of them are very manageable, especially if caught while contained to the prostate.
Good luck to you both and feel free to reach out if you want to chat more.
12 Jun 2025 05:56 PM
12 Jun 2025 05:56 PM
Thank you for sharing those resources and services @MJG017 . That's so helpful.
@Srobe1976 , hope you are okay. Thinking about you and hope you are well.
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